Talk Turkey to Me
by assilem33
Summary: **COMPLETE** "So, I guess this is where our journey ends. Sorry, I dragged you all this way." - A Thanksgiving Short Story
1. 1 Bella Swan

AN: Short Thanksgiving story. One very short chapter will be posted a day until Thanksgiving. There will be roughly 18 chapters with a possible epilogue. Story is already written.

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**1\. Bella Swan**

"Wait, say that again. You've _never_ celebrated Thanksgiving?"

The waitress looks at me horrified, and I nod my head.

I don't know why that's so surprising.

Not everyone celebrates Thanksgiving.

"I don't even like Turkey," I say, biting into my big juicy cheeseburger.

"What! Oh my...I don't even...this is unreal."

I lick ketchup from the side of my mouth and set my burger down and pick up a french fry. I smother it in ketchup before shoving it in my mouth. I chew and chew and chew then look up at this befuddled stranger.

"It really isn't. I didn't have a mom, and my dad isn't big on holidays."

Her eyes widen, and her hand goes to her chest. "Please tell me you celebrate Christmas."

I grin between my next bite of burger, chew and swallow before grinning again. "Okay, I'll tell you I celebrate Christmas."

"Harold!" She screams suddenly, making me jump.

"Yeah!"

She turns away from me and pushes through the swinging doors. "There's a girl here who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving _or_ Christmas."

"Why're you yellin' about it? So what?"

"So what! What is _wrong_ with you! It's Thanksgiving, _Harold_. She's eating a _burger_ for Thanksgiving!"

"Did she pay for it?"

"Well not yet," my waitress says.

"As long as she pays for it, I don't give a shit what she eats for Thanksgiving."

"You're a pig," she says, loudly.

"I'm _your _pig."

I snort and finish my burger, listening to them bicker back and forth before she comes back out to the front.

"It's settled," she says, yanking off her apron. "You're spending Thanksgiving with Harold and me."

My eyes widen, and I choke on my last french fry.

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**Another AN: Thanks for reading.**

**Aside from this short Thanksgiving story, my focus will be on Undeniable, You're My Forever and Jasper and Low's story...with possible outtakes from YMF...until all three are completed.**

**Then I will put focus into Reckless and ASSFR.**

**Thanks!**


	2. 2 Edward Cullen

**2\. Edward Cullen**

The girl is choking, and the waitress is screaming.

I stand from my booth, come up behind the choking girl and start performing the heimlich on her.

The girl hacks and coughs and wheezes, and I try not to laugh, but I can't help it. This shit is hilarious.

"Oh my _God, _are you okay?" The waitress asks, wiping her face with her discarded apron.

The girl coughs again and wheezes some more and looks over her shoulder at me, eyes wide and leaking black tears down her cheeks. She clears her throat. "Thank you," she rasps.

"You're welcome," I say softly, still holding her in my arms, biting my lip to keep me from laughing.

"Come on, child. I'm taking you home with Harold and me." She reaches out a hand, and the girl stiffens in my arms.

"I...no, that's...I was...I was just kidding. I _do _celebrate Thanksgiving. My mom and dad are home right now cooking the turkey and baking pies and mashing those potatoes…"

The waitress looks at the girl in my arms like she doesn't believe her. "You said you didn't have a mom..."

"She doesn't," I say, without thinking, trying to help this girl out. "She's spending Thanksgiving with me."

The girl's wide brown eyes meet mine over her shoulder again, and I roll my lips and widen my eyes.

_I'm trying to help you, just go with it!_

"And you are?"

"Her boyfriend."

"Yeah," the girl says quickly, resting her head back on my chest. "He's my...boyfriend."

The waitress looks skeptical. "Oh, and what's your boyfriend's name?"

"This is...uh…"

"Edward," I say. "I'm Edward, and…"

"We should go honey lumpkins," the girl interrupts me, turning in my arms, putting her hands on my chest. "We don't want to keep the family waiting. Thank you for the invite, though," she says to the waitress. "You're very sweet."

The tiny girl pushes me through the diner and out the door, but before the door closes, the man in the back starts yelling.

"Henrietta! She didn't pay for the damn burger!"

"For the love of God, she was _choking_, Harold! It's on the goddamn house!"


	3. 3 Bella Swan

**3\. Bella Swan**

Holy shit.

"You just saved my life," I say, patting this stranger's chest. "Both literally and figuratively."

"I don't celebrate Thanksgiving either," he says, looking down at me with striking green eyes and perfect eyebrows.

"Really? Or is that just something you say to get in all the girl's pants?"

His green eyes widen, and he chokes out a laugh.

"I'm just kidding. So, really, no Thanksgiving either?"

He shakes his head and smiles. "No, I was just fucking with you. Of course I celebrate Thanksgiving. Who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving?" He asks, and I look down at my hands that are still resting on his pectoral muscles. He's very fit. Slowly, I remove my hands and shove them into my hoodie pocket.

"So, again, thanks for the save back there." I jab a thumb behind me. "I had no idea how I was going to escape _that_."

"So, listen, I think Harold is coming this way…" he nods behind me, and I glance over my shoulder to see Henrietta holding Harold back. He has a huge spatula in his hand and a look of money hungry fury on his face.

"Uh...RUN!" I scream and grab my savior's hand.

He chuckles and lets me dodge and weave through traffic with his hand gripped in mine. Car horns honk, brakes squeal, and Edward cusses behind me when we slip on the sleek concrete.

"I think…" Edward wheezes, making me snort a laugh. "I'm pretty sure we lost him."

I look up at the street sign and realize we've ran eight blocks. "Oh shit, I think you're right."

"My car's…" Edward points in the direction of the diner. "My car's parked at the diner."

"You're kidding," I breathe.

"No, it's really parked back there."

"If I knew that, we would have just jumped in and gunned it. Would have been easier."

He laughs. "Or you could have just paid for the burger."

I nod in agreement. "But Henrietta did say it was on the house. It's _Thanksgiving_, the holiday of _giving._ Harold's such a scrooge."

"Wrong holiday," Edward says.

"Who cares?"

"You're right."

"So...I guess this is where our journey ends. Sorry, I dragged you all this way."

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**AN: Okay, so my twin sister and I are collaborating a story under the name twinningiswinning. It was her idea. Go read!**

Copy & Paste by twinningiswinning

**Thanks for reading! **


	4. 4 Edward Cullen

**4\. Edward Cullen**

My phone rings in my pocket, but I ignore it and instead stare at this crazy girl in front of me.

"What's your name?"

"Isabella," she says, pushing the button for the crosswalk because suddenly she decides to obey traffic laws. "But everyone calls me Izzy."

"Izzy? Why Izzy?"

She glances back at me. "It's stupid, really. There was this boy in middle school who I had the biggest crush on. We'd play basketball every recess. He was this real _gangsta_ type…" she air quotes the word gangsta. "...he'd pick me every game, because I'm a total baller. Anyway, he dubbed me _Izzy_, and that's been my name ever since. Back then I thought I'd marry him."

"Yeah?" I ask, trying so fucking hard not to laugh. She's being serious, but damn, it's really hard to keep a straight face.

She looks up at me, serious big brown eyes all earnest. "Yeah. I mean, he _picked_ me every single game. That _meant _something. Well, at least I thought it did. Until we got to high school, and he started dating bigfoot's sister. I mean, it is what it is, ya know."

No, I don't know, honestly.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Izzy."

"Don't call me that," she says.

"What?"

"I've just decided I'm not Izzy anymore."

What the fuck?

"Uh, okay…" I chuckle and rub the back of my neck.

"You probably think I'm crazy."

"No."

_Yes, but the crazy's kind of cute, I'll admit._

"I just realized I've been holding onto this name, like if I just let myself be _Izzy_ that Jacob would one day come back for me. How pathetic. So, no, I'm not _Izzy_ anymore."

"Who are you then?"

"Who am I?" She asks.

I take a step back, ready to just say screw it and walk back to the diner, back to my car. I'll even pay for the fucking burger. Sometimes cute isn't worth crazy.

She reaches out and grips my hand. "Bella," she says, shaking my hand then she grins kind of cute. "Call me Bella."

I smile down at her, kind of afraid of her, but not afraid enough to walk away quite yet. "That's better than Izzy."

"I know! _Izzy_, really! How lame!" I laugh again, and she lets my hand go. "Hey, so, you want to like hang out?"

My phone rings again in my pocket, and I reach in and silence it.

"Sure."

Why not? It's only Thanksgiving. I'm sure my mom won't be too pissed if I show up late to dinner.

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**Thanks for reading!**

**Love all the reviews.**

**FYI, I celebrate Thanksgiving AND Christmas. **


	5. 5 Bella Swan

**5\. Bella Swan**

What is _wrong_ with me?

Did I actually call myself a baller?

And bringing _Jacob_ up?

How stupid!

Edward walks next to me, our shoulders bumping every now and again. He's tall, like really fucking tall, and he's handsome, like really fucking handsome.

"Are you from here?" I ask.

"I'm from here, but I don't _live_ here."

"What brings you here?"

"It's Thanksgiving…" he smirks. "...and my parents live here. I grew up here."

"No shit?" I ask, stopping him with a hand on his arm.

"Yeah," he laughs. "Why's that surprising?"

"It's not _surprising_. It's just _I _grew up here, and I don't remember you. Who are your parents?"

"Carlisle and Esme Cullen…"

My eyes widen. "No way! The _Cullens_ are your parents? This is going to sound crazy, but your mom babysits me."

"What?" His eyes grow round, and he tries to pull his arm from my grip, but I'm freakishly strong for being a girl so it's no easy feat for my new friend here.

"She doesn't _babysit_ me. Not anymore, I mean. There was a short time when I was a kid that I'd end up at her house after school. Honestly, I could have stayed home alone, but my dad didn't trust me."

"Why didn't he trust you?"

I reach down and grab his hand because I'm brave like that and pull him across the street. "It was only _one _time, but I almost started the house on fire, but in my defense, I was trying to cook _him_ dinner. It's not like I did it on purpose."

We're back on the sidewalk, just _holding _hands, and I should probably let him go, but his hand is just so big and warm.

"How old are you?" I ask.

"Older than you," he says, pushing me out of the way when a couple walks by.

"Yeah, but _how much_ older?"

His phone rings for the third time.

I wonder...does he have a _girlfriend_?

"Maybe you should answer that," I say, nodding toward his pocket.

"I'm 30," he says, ignoring his phone. "Please tell me you're not in high school."

"Uh…" I say, trying to keep a straight face. "Would that be so wrong if I was?"

Oh my _God, _his face!

He's so pale white and ice cold.

I start laughing so hard when he tries to take a step back from me but his hand is locked in mine. "I was just fucking with you. Of course I'm not in high school! You should have seen your face."

He shakes his head and chuckles. "So?"

"So...what?"

"Is that…" we both turn at the sound of an all too familiar voice. "...it _is_ them! Hey," Harold calls. "Hey! You owe me 15 bucks!"

What? _Fifteen _bucks!

"Oh good _Lord_, Harold," Henrietta snaps, slapping Harold in the chest.

"15 bucks," Edward says, _loudly._ "You're overcharging!"

My eyes widen, and I look up at Edward who's staring across the street at Harold and Henrietta, my almost could have been Thanksgiving family.

"Over...over...over_charging_!" Harold spits, straight up appalled. "Why I oughta overcharge your ass!"

I snort, and Edward laughs.

Oh boy, Harold's face sure is red.


	6. 6 Edward Cullen

**I owe you two more ****chapters today since I'm behind. Sorry!**

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**6\. Edward Cullen**

I think Harold thinks we're laughing at him.

Well, I guess we _are_.

My phone rings _again_, and I know it's my mom wondering where the fuck I'm at, but for some reason, hanging out with crazy Bella is more appealing then the mouthwatering turkey she usually makes and the amazing pies and mashed potatoes…

"Dude…" Bella nudges me with her arm, and I blink down at her. "...your phone is ringing."

"I know."

"Harold, get in the car…"

"Are you not going to answer it? It could be an emergency. What if something's wrong?"

"I'm not gettin' in no car until I get my money…"

"It's fine," I say, ignoring pissed off Harold. "It's my mom…"

"I knew I should of listened to my mama when she said not to marry you…"

Bella's eyes widen, and she glances over at Harold and Henrietta. "You should never ignore calls from your mom," she says, her eyes trained on the older couple.

"Your mom didn't know her head from her ass…" Harold says, and Henrietta gasps. "...may her black soul rest in peace."

"Harold!" Henrietta scolds, and I lose it.

_Is this shit really happening right now? _

Bella holds her hands up suddenly and walks forward, across the street, and I follow close behind her.. "Here," she says, pulling cash from her pocket. "Let me just pay for that burger, so we can all go on our way."

"No," Henrietta says, bumping Harold with her round body. "You will do no such thing."

"No really," Bella says, holding the money out. "I didn't mean to run out on the bill anyway. It's just I was choking, and then you said something about taking me home, and I kind of just…" she shrugs and gives me big eyes over her shoulder.

_She's fucking cute._

"...and anyway, my lover boy over there is ready to get home to his Thanksgiving feast, and it's the holiday of giving so let me _give_ you my money."

"You're _givin'_ me what you owe me. Nobody eats for free," Harold says, snatching the money from Bella's hand.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight," Henrietta says, glaring at her husband.

"Woman, I sleep on the couch every night."

"You're sleeping in the _bed_ then," she snaps, crossing her arms.

Bella backs into my body and whispers over her shoulder. "Should we run again? I don't think they'll notice…"

"Really?" Harold says sarcastically. "I get to sleep in my own goddamn bed for once."

"You know what?" Henrietta yells. "I think I'll spend Thanksgiving with these two. You can make your own turkey, you ungrateful swine."

"What the fuck?" I whisper, and Bella's in fucking hysterics.

"Run," she chokes. "Run. _Run._" She shoves me back a step, and I grab her arm to take her with me.

"My car is over there," I say, tilting my in the direction of Harold and Henrietta who are in a heated discussion.

She bites her lip and drags me pass the distracted couple, her eyes darting to them every few seconds. "Poor Henrietta. Maybe we should take her with us."

_What?_

"What?"

"Harold...he's a jerk. He doesn't appreciate Henrietta. She's a nice lady."

"Where are we going exactly?"

"To the _Cullen's_," she says. "You can't miss Thanksgiving."


	7. 7 Bella Swan

**7\. Bella Swan**

Edward looks a little leery now, like he thinks I'm crazy or something.

_I'm not_.

Maybe a little, but everyone is just a _little_ crazy, right?

"You want to celebrate Thanksgiving?" He asks.

"I mean, _yeah_. Why not, ya know?"

He chuckles and leads me to a beat up red truck. I look up at him then give him a once over before looking back at the truck.

"What?"

"Nothing," I say. "Your cable knit sweater just doesn't say…" I wave my hand at the dinged up beast. "...it's just, you're so…"

"So...what?" He asks, pulling the squeaky door open and motioning for me to climb in. I glance at him, at his smirking lips before I slide into the truck.

"Wow, it's a stick. I've always wanted to drive stick. My dad…" I grab the stick, gripping the shifter in my hand, just giving it a loving stroke.

"...got me a Volvo when I could drive. I still have it. It's cute and silver, but nothing like this."

Edward slides in next to me, his thigh pressing against mine.

_God, he smells good._

"You like my stick or what?" Edward asks, laughing, his eyes looking pointedly at my hand.

"It's so bi….ahhhhhhh!" I jump when there's a knock on the passenger window, and Henrietta's face is staring right at me. "Holy shit," I breathe.

"Uh…" Edward says, and I let go of the stick to reach over and crank the window down.

Henrietta ignores the rolled down window and pulls the door open. "I sent Harold on home," she says. "He's always so moody during the holiday's. They're never easy, not since we lost our Duke."

"Duke?" Edward asks, pulling me back to the middle when Henrietta starts to pull herself up into the truck, unwelcome and not caring one bit.

"He was our boy," she says, breathing heavily, situating herself comfortably on the cracked vinyl. "He passed away a couple years ago. Harold hasn't been the same since."

_Oh my God, their _son _died, and here I was trying to steal from them. I'm such a piece of shit._

"I'm sorry," I say. "How old was he?"

"Well, he was about 15 in human years…"

_Human years?_

"...so that'd put him at about 3 in dog years."

Edward starts laughing, and I see him shake his head before he starts the truck.

"This is a nice truck," she says, pulling on her seatbelt.

I scoot closer to Edward, opening my legs so he can shift the stick. He glances at me, and I reach out and help him shift.

_Nice._

"It is nice," I say. "I call it the Red Bastard."

"Did you just call my truck a bastard?"

"No," I say as he starts to back up, then I jump _again_ when there's a loud slap on the side of the truck.

"This is really happening," Edward mutters just as Harold says, "Henrietta, I'm not spendin' Thanksgiving alone."

"Then you better hop in the back because I'm not leaving this bastard for anyone, not even you."

Edward reaches between my legs and puts Raggedy Anne in park.

I start laughing at my own thoughts.

_Raggedy Anne._

"I ain't climbin' in the back of this shitter," Harold says.

"Geez, Harold. Don't insult people's things," Henrietta says.

To think, if I'd never stopped for that burger.

"Just get moving, child," Henrietta says. "If he doesn't want to move, just run him over. I need to get over to the store before it closes."

Edward smiles down at me, understanding how hilarious this entire evening has been. He's so fucking damn good looking.

The truck bounces and shifts, and Edward and I look out the back window to see Harold rolling himself into the bed of the truck.

"For the love of God," Henrietta mumbles, shifting in her seat.

"So," I say. "I hope Esme is okay with three extra guests."

Edward shrugs, and does the whole shifting his stick between my legs thing and gets on the way.

"Turn left at the stop sign, dear." Henrietta orders, pointing with a stubby finger.

"Easy on the brakes," Harold yells. "Goddamn children don't know how to drive these days."

Edward gives the brake a little tap, making Harold hit his head on the window.

"Shit," he yells.

I look at Henrietta at the same time she looks at me, and we both start laughing.

"Hey, mom," Edward says. "Yeah I'm on my way, just have to stop at the store first…" he shifts the stick again, and I look over at his profile as he speaks to his mom. "...I know I'm late. I'll be there soon."

He hangs up and gives me a quick look and sexy grin.

"You didn't tell her to expect extras?"

"Fuck no," he says, laughing. "She likes surprises."

"Even if they're bad?"

"There's no such thing as bad surprises," Henrietta cuts in. "They wouldn't be surprises if they were bad."

"It'll be fine..." Edward says, then quieter, "...I think."

He _thinks_.

"Well, I hope she still has stuff for pb&j," I say. "Turkey's just not my thing."

Henrietta gasps, and Edward laughs.

To think if I never stopped for that burger.

_To think!_


	8. 8 Edward Cullen

**8\. Edward Cullen**

Henrietta and Harold are in the store, and Bella's next to me, her hands stroking the gear shift. She's really obsessed with that thing.

_It's kind of hot._

"I was thinking…" Bella says, looking over at me, her brown eyes wide in excitement. "...maybe you could let me drive. Don't worry," she hurries on when I'm actually about to say _yes_. "I've never controlled a stick before but you could help me. It'll be fun." She shifts and looks out the back window, her hair slapping me in the face. "Henrietta and Harold are still in there. Come on. Just around the parking lot."

She smiles at me, and seriously that smile could get her anything she fucking wanted.

"Okay," I say, unbuckling my seat belt.

"No shit?"

I laugh and nod and kind of hope she'll hit me in the face with her hair again.

_Yeah, that's not fucking weird at all._

"Oh my God. Okay. I can do this."

I hop out of the truck and climb in the passenger side. Bella's in my seat, sitting all the way forward with both hands on the wheels. She looks so fucking cute all little and barely being able to see over the dash.

"You need to move closer." She smiles and pats the seat. "What if I lose control and you're way over there and can't help me control this fire crotch."

_Fire crotch?_

I scoot next to her and grab her hand, placing it on the stick she loves so much. She's breathing hard and honestly, my thoughts are turning dirty very quick.

"Do you know what the clutch is?"

"Uh, no…"

Laughing, I reach over and tap her left leg. "You see the three pedals down there?"

She leans forward and looks at the floor. "Oh yeah, why are there three pedals?"

"One's the clutch, the brake and then the gas. You have to use the clutch when you're shifting."

She bites her lip and glances at me. "Maybe this was a bad idea. I'm only used to the brake and the gas. That clutch is kind of scaring me…"

"You'll be fine," I say, pushing myself closer to her. "Right now, just push down on the clutch with your left leg and the brake with your right. Yeah, like that."

"Okay, I'm doing it. It's actually easy."

Shaking my head, I smile down at her little feet on both pedals. I grip her hand again, and tell her to put it in reverse.

"That's the 'r' right?"

_Oh fuck, she may just kill us._

"Yeah, just like in your Volvo."

"Oh. Right…" she snorts and laughs, and I squeeze her hand around the ball. "I'm only a little nervous."

"You'll be fine."

_I hope._

She shifts the gear, and I say, "Okay. Slowly let go of the clutch…"

She starts backing up like she's done this a thousand times before, and when she gives me a sly smile my dick twitches.

"I have a confession…" she says, slowly moving backward. "...I've…"

"You just played me, huh?"

_Fuck._

She grins and starts to turn the wheel. "I've only driven one a few times. I'm just a natural. Are you mad..."

_Fuck no_.

"...to be truthful, I just wanted…"

"Ahhhhhhh, my goddamn foot," Harold yells, slapping my fucking truck again. "You just ran over my _goddamn _foot!"

"Oh my _God,_" Bella breathes, hitting the brakes as I look out the back window. "I just ran over Harold."

"You're such a natural," I say, chuckling when her wide eyes meet mine, a slow smile lifting her lips.

"Should we just go?"

"Go where?"

"I don't know! Would that be considered a hit and run?"

I start laughing really fucking hard and so does Bella.

_I can't believe this shit is happening right now._

* * *

**I'll be posting one more chapter today and then I'm back on track. **

**I love reading all of the reviews. One of my favorites: "To think! He can stuff her turkey later."**


	9. 9 Bella Swan

**9\. Bella Swan**

Harold's okay.

I mean, his big toe might be broken, but he can still walk. Henrietta decided it would be best if she rode in the back with him to keep an eye on him.

I peek out the back window, and she's helping him into the new shirt she bought him. She refused to allow him to wear his greasy tank top into the Cullens.

They may be a strange couple, but I mean, I have to admit, this day has been kind of a fucking hoot.

I mean maybe too hooty for a crash into the Cullen's Thanksgiving dinner, but...

Edward glances over at me when I pull my hoodie over my head. "I can't go into the Cullens in a hoodie," I explain, tossing it next to me and patting down my hair. His eyes go back to the road before straying down to the tight long sleeved tee I have on. "I mean, it's still not Thanksgiving appropriate, but what can I do?"

"You look good," he says and _licks_ his lips before his eyes move back to the road. "It's nothing fancy."

"You're wearing a _sweater_," I say. "I mean, you look hot…"

"You think I look hot?" He asks, smiling out the windshield.

"Well, yeah," I say, like _duh. _"It's very _fall_ of you."

"It's cold," he says. "You wear sweaters when it's cold."

"No, I get it. I really do. The temperature drops so the GQ sweaters come out. Are you like a model or something?"

He laughs, and I watch the way his lips pull back to show his perfect teeth. Thanksgiving is the holiday of _giving_, and if I would have known years ago that the turkey gods were this generous - _giving _me an Edward on this national holiday - I would have made dad celebrate a long time ago.

_Do I have to give him back when this is all said and done?_

_Jacob who?_

Baggy pants and slang don't hold a candle to cable knit sweaters and gorgeous smiles.

"I'm not a model," he says, turning on the blinker.

"What are you then?"

"What are _you_?" He asks, turning down a paved road that I know leads to a beautiful house made of glass.

"I'm just a girl not knowing what she wants to do with her fucking life, honestly. I finished the nursing program in May, but do I _really_ want to be a nurse…" I lean forward to see over the dash and up the hill. "...I just don't know."

"You're a _nurse_?" Edward asks, gobsmacked, like me being a nurse is shocking or something.

"Yeah, I'm a real life nurse. I've wiped a lot of ass to get here."

Edward chuckles, and I watch the way his throat bobs attractively. "So not only do you almost kill people, you can save them, too?"

"Ha ha, funny! Now tell me what you do."

"I'm a doctor," he says, taking a gander at me before his eyes are back on the road. "I save lives, too."

"You're a real life _McDreamy_?"

"What?"

"A _McSteamy_?"

"I don't get it."

"No..._McSexy_?"

Edward starts laughing while pulling to a stop in front of the glass house.

"We don't like _McVet_. He's so _McNoying_," I say, pulling my seatbelt off.

"I don't know who these people are," Edward says, shutting off the truck.

"It's a show. _Grey's Anatomy._ I can't believe you never watched it. Are you even _alive_?"

The truck gives a shake and a bounce while Henrietta and Harold climb down.

"This is going to be interesting," Edward says, looking over his shoulder before smiling all slow and _hot_.

"Harold, try to act like you weren't born from animals," Henrietta says, standing outside Edward's window.

"Woman, I _wasn't_ born from animals. Don't tell me how to act."

Henrietta waves at us when she catches us watching her. "I've got the pies." She holds the bag up, and I give her a thumbs up.

"My first Thanksgiving," I say. "Should be fun."


	10. 10 Edward Cullen

**10\. Edward Cullen**

"How's the toe, Harold?" Bella asks, taking the pies from Henrietta's hands, her lips twitching when she peeks over at me with those mischievous brown eyes.

"It's still attached to my foot, so I'd say it's fine and dandy."

"Oh, hush your mouth, Harold." Henrietta scolds. "She's a sweet girl asking if you're okay. No need to be such a sour puss."

The front door opens and Effie runs out, skidding to a halt when she gets a look at me and the Thanksgiving crashers.

"Sour puss?" Harold says, and I look over to see him lifting his pants up over his round stomach. "She ran over my _toe_, Henrietta. It ain't like she bumped into me at the grocery store."

"Uncle Edward," Effie yells, her hands on both hips, looking at me like I'm in a shitload of trouble. "Gammy is _mad_ at you."

"Uncle Edward, huh?" Bella says. "I thought for a minute you were _daddy_. Well not like _daddy_ as in _who's your daddy_, but like…"

Chuckling, I step closer to her and place a hand on her back, pushing her toward Effie and the rest of my family who are no doubt peeking out the window at this point.

"What a sweet child," Henrietta says behind us.

"Maybe Harold, Henrietta and I should just go..." Bella says, suddenly acting nervous, pushing into my side. "...we're not even that hungry and…"

"Speak for yourself," Harold says, cutting her off. "I've been through hell and back to get me a piece of turkey, and I'll be damned if I don't get me a piece of _damned_ turkey."

I grab Bella's hand, and she squeezes mine. This crazy girl has been busting my balls for hours and now she wants to pull the shy card. I won't let her.

"Hey, munchkin. Where's your shoes?"

Effie looks down at her feet and wiggles her toes before grinning. "I hid them under gammy's bed, but shhh…" she puts a finger to her lips. "...mommy will find them and make me wear them, and my feet hurt because of those boots."

"I can hear you, Effie," Alice yells from inside, making Effie jump and giggle.

"Who're your friends?" She asks, leaning to the side to get a good look at Harold and Henrietta behind us.

_My friends_.

"Why does he look so mad?" She asks, pointing her little finger at Harold, making Bella snort.

"He's not mad," Bella says, looking over her shoulder. "He's just…" she waves her hand in front of us, trying to think of a good word to describe Harold. "...uh…".

"_Hungry_," Harold says. "You got anything to eat in there?"

"Harold," Henrietta snaps.

"What? I'm hungry, woman. I've been waitin' all day for Thanksgiving."

Effie steps forward and nods her head enthusiastically. "Gammy and mommy made lots of food. I wasn't sposed to try anything yet, but my tummy was growling and I was just so hungry, I sneaked a roll…" she looks over her shoulder to make sure no one's listening, but we're _all _listening. "...and I hid two more in the playroom." She holds her hand out to Harold. "Come on, I'll show you."

"Harold, don't you…"

Harold grabs Effie's hand. "Lead the way, little lady."

"What's your name?" Effie asks, pulling Harold into the house.

"Harold H. Henderson."

Effie looks over her shoulder then asks. "Is that Miss Harold?"

Harold laughs - _chortles_ \- and Bella whispers, "This is…" she looks up at me, trying not to laugh. "...fun."

I nod, feeling my lips lifting into a smile.

"That's my wife Henrietta."

"Henretta," Effie calls. "You can come, too."

Henrietta doesn't have to be told twice. She marches past us, and Bella snorts, falling into my side, making me wish I could say _screw Thanksgiving_ and let her play with my stick some more.


	11. 11 Bella Swan

**11\. Bella Swan**

Sometimes I do the stupidest things.

I thought crashing the Cullen's Thanksgiving would be at the top of the list, and it _is_, but _literally _crashing _into_ the Cullen's?

_Yeah, I'd say that takes the cake._

Edward's helping me up from the entryway, and my face is on fucking fire. I can hear him laughing quietly but other than his deep voice, there's nothing but silence.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks softly, stirring my hair a bit with his warm breath. "I think you might have…" another chuckle leaves those delectable lips. "...ruined the pies."

The pies are smashed onto the floor, pecan goo and pumpkin goop just smushed all into the floor.

_What a way to make an entrance._

"Uh...I think we're going to need a…"

"Edward, sweetie…" Esme - I recognize her voice - calls. "...who is your friend?"

"Friend?" _Harold_ says, the obnoxious ass. "I thought she was your girlfriend. Henrietta! You said…"

"Uncle Edward has a _girlfriend_?" Effie giggles. "Mommy, did you hear? Uncle Edward has a girlfriend!"

"I heard, Effie…"

When I lift my head, all of Edward's family - including Harold and Henrietta - are standing in the huge ass entrance, staring at us.

Effie still has her hand in Harold's - fucking Harold, and he's shaking, belly and all, because he's laughing so hard.

"I'm thinking you should have ran over _more_ than Harold's toe," Edward whispers, making me snort and chortle like Harold in turn making Edward crack up.

After we've wiped the hilarity from our eyes, Edward says, "Sorry, we're late."

_Sorry, __**we're**_ _late._

Hilarious!

With the look on Esme's face and the way her eyes keep traveling to Harold and Henrietta, I know she's thinking about strangling her son.

"For goodness _sakes_, Harold, stop laughing. She could have been hurt," Henrietta says, glaring at her husband.

He snorts and chokes, making Effie giggle. "At least her toe ain't run over. A little pie on her shirt ain't gonna hurt her."

"Oh get over your toe, Harold," I say, trying to ignore all the eyes on this shit show. "You're _alive. _Be thankful on this Thanksgiving Day."

"_Alive_ and hungry."

Edward pushes me forward - _over_ \- the pies toward his wide-eyed mom and very good looking dad, and I grin and wave.

_Really, this is fun. _


	12. 12 Edward Cullen

**12\. Edward Cullen **

"You might not remember me..." Bella says, smiling at me over her shoulder before moving her head back to my mom. "...but you used to babysit me. I'm Bella…" she nods enthusiastically, making me hold back a laugh. "...and it was always after school when my dad had to work late, and you'd feed me the best peanut butter and jelly…

"Peanut butter and jelly?" Harold interrupts, and all eyes turn to Harold, Henrietta _and _Effie. "I'm thinkin' at this point, I'd eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Effie's eyes widen comically before she's in a fit of giggles.

"Mr. Henderson…" Alice starts to say, but Harold cuts her off.

"_Mr. Henderson_, no girl, it's _Harold_. Mr. Henderson was my bastard of a father…"

"Bless his soul…" Henrietta mumbles, and Bella glances at me with a crazy smile before focusing on our new _friends._

"...and that was his name. I ain't no _Mr. Henderson._"

"Uh..._Harold_," Alice says, trying again, glancing at Jasper before facing off with Harold again.. "We don't say curse words in front of Effie."

Harold looks down at a giggling Effie and then back at Alice.

I want to feel bad bringing these people over, but this shit's been funny as hell, and when Bella grabs my arm and whispers into my ear, "Maybe we should tell Harold to go home..." I fucking shiver from head to toe and regret _nothing_.

"You gonna say them bad words?" I hear Harold say.

Bella's fingers dig into my arms, and her face is bouncing between Harold, Effie and then me. I can't take my eyes off her. "...or maybe he's not going to be a complete ass."

"No," Effie says. "Mommy will give me a spanking. One time I said hell…" she gasps, and Bella grins. "...and mommy was so mad. I don't say those words."

I look over at Effie, and she's twisting her ankle nervously and starting at her mom wide-eyed.

"Well, there you have it." Harold claps. "She ain't gonna say what I say. Now, are we gonna eat or what?"

"Alice, honey, if you want to take Bella's parents…"

I snort and Bella falls into my chest giggling herself stupid. "Oh my God, she thinks _Harold_ and _Henrietta_ are my _parents,"_ she hiss-laughs into my chest, gripping my shirt, her nails digging into my nipples. If she's not careful, she's going to make my dick so hard right now.

I glance over Bella's head to see my mom looking confused, but she's smiling down at crazy, dorky Bella.

"They're not Bella's parents…"

"Oh goodness me, no," Henrietta says. "Bella, here, was at our diner eating a _burger_ for Thanksgiving. She told me she has never celebrated Thanksgiving a day in her life. I was just baffled because who doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving…"

"Stupid people," Harold whispers, sarcastically, making Bella glare at him.

"...and I just could not stand for that. I told her she was coming home with Harold and me, but then she started choking and _thank the heavens_ her sweet boyfriend was there to save the day. Edward saved her and whisked her away…"

"It really wasn't a whisk," I say, running my hand across Bella's shoulder until my fingers are tangled in her soft hair. "She kind of pushed me out the door."

"But anyway," Bella says. "My dad is Charlie Swan, chief of police."

"That's right!" My mom says. "I remember now." She grabs Bella and pulls her away from me - sadly - and hugs her. "You were such a sweet girl. You've grown up so beautifully."

Harold makes a _harumph_ noise, and I chuckle when Henrietta slaps his chest.

"Carlisle, sweetie, you remember Bella?"

"I do. Hello, child."

"Hello. It's so nice to see you again."

"Tell me, Bella, when did you and my son become an item?"

Bella laughs nervously and widens her big brown eyes at me over her shoulder, wanting me to take over and answer with the truth.

"Not long," I say, ignoring Bella's shock. "But when you know, you know…"

Bella's mouth drops open, and I roll my lips to keep from laughing.

My mom has hearts in her eyes.

Who am I to disappoint her?


	13. 13 Bella Swan

**13\. Bella Swan**

Esme leads me into the dining room with a trail of Cullens and Hendersons. I can't believe Edward said _when you know, you know_.

The _boyfriend_ wants to play games, huh?

It's on like Donkey Kong.

_He's Donkey. I'm Kong._

"My Edward, I've been wanting him to settle down for years. Where did you guys meet?"

I glance over my shoulder, and Edward has Effie on his shoulders, making my heart all warm and squishy. He meets my eyes, and I give him a squinty eye smile, and his lips lift all cute.

_Damn._

"Uh...I'm a nurse, and…"

"You're a _nurse_?

I nod and smile.

_Is me being a nurse shocking or something?_

I don't get it.

I mean, _yeah_, I'm a little crazy - _nutty - _but I happen to know exactly what I'm doing.

"I just finished the program in May, but I haven't really...well, I don't have a nursing job yet. Sometimes I don't think I'm cut out for the job."

Esme doesn't respond, and when I look over at her, her own head is turned to look behind us at Edward, who doesn't know his mother is staring at him or me for that matter.

_How in the world is he so hot?_

"He gets his looks from his father," Esme says through a smile, startling the ever loving hell out of me.

"Did I…" My face is on fire right now. "...Did I say that _out loud_?"

"You said Uncle Edward is _hot_?" Effie squeals, making me jump and whirl around. Edward's right behind me with Effie still on his shoulders, and he's smirking and giving me these sexy smoldering eyes.

Esme giggles, and I wave my hands in the air like I just don't care and pretend I didn't just tell Edward's mother that he was fucking _hot._

"He is," I tell Effie, lifting on my tiptoes to put the back of my hand against Edward's forehead. "I think he has fever."

Effie gasps and covers Edward's forehead with both hands. "Are you sick? Are you _dying?_ Mommy! Uncle Edward's dying."

"Oh fuck," I say, snorting before covering my mouth with my hand.

Effie is slapping at Edward's forehead and screaming for her mother, and I am laughing so hard I'm about to pee my pants.

"I thought there was a no cussing rule," Harold says.

"Effie, stop hitting me," Edward says before pulling Effie from his shoulders. She runs to Alice, and Alice soothes her. I kind of feel bad, but shit, how else was I supposed to get the heat off me?

Edward shakes his head and wraps a hand - oh my _God_ \- on the side of my neck, his thumb stroking my jaw, making me all breathless and shit in front of his mother.

"Look what you started," he says through a smile. "Now Effie thinks I'm dying."

"Well, you're a doctor." I breathe, tilting my head into his touch. "Heal yourself."

Esme giggles again, and then I hear her walking away, leaving me alone with Dr. _Mcfuckme_ over here.

"Harold, Henrietta, why don't you come take a seat and we'll get dinner started."

"Finally," Harold shouts. "I was about to start gnawing off my own arm."

"Goodness, Harold. At least pretend you have some manners."

"I've got manners, woman."

"You're a nurse," Edward says. "Why don't you heal me?"

"Bella said he's gonna die, mommy!"

"I didn't say that," I whisper, and Edward chuckles.

"Effie's cute but dramatic," Edward says, still stroking my jaw. "Are you hungry?"

"Uhh…"

"You don't have to eat turkey."

"What do I eat?"

"Whatever you want."

"Bella, dear, come here. I want you to sit between Harold and me."

My eyes widen, and Edward laughs - like _really_ laughs - and _hello_, he's still fucking gorgeous.

"See, sweetheart, Uncle Edward's fine. If he was dying, he would be crying not laughing."

Edward's head descends and my knees lock up. "You better go find a seat between your mom and dad," he jokes _in my ear._

"Shut up," I wheeze, and he pulls back and smiles before giving me a gentle push toward Harold and Henrietta.

I trip over my own feet and keep my eyes on Edward as he walks to the table and pulls out the chair opposite me, next to his mother and Alice.

Harold leans over and whispers out of the side of his mouth _you're drooling_, making me lick my lips.

_Fucking Harold. _


	14. 14 Edward Cullen

**14\. Edward Cullen**

Bella's sitting across from me, knocking elbows with Harold. He may be a cranky old bastard, but I think he actually likes his little dine and dasher.

I know _I_ like the little dine and dasher.

She's young, but who gives a shit.

An adult is an adult.

"Bella's a nurse," my mom is saying to my dad. "Isn't that lovely? Edward…" she says, her eyes lit up. "...it's so lovely that you've met her, isn't it?"

"It is," I agree, glancing at Bella, choking on a laugh when she elbows Harold in the side, making him grunt. "She's lovely." Bella nods and chews. "Are you chewing the mashed potatoes?" I ask, not being able to contain my fucking smile.

She swallows and wipes her mouth. "No."

She was, though.

I stretch out my feet and knock her foot with mine. She doesn't acknowledge me but starts talking to my mom and Alice. "The food is really good."

"Did you try the turkey," Harold asks, and Henrietta rolls her eyes, but keeps her mouth shut this time, too busy eating dinner to worry about Harold's big mouth.

"Bella doesn't like turkey," I say, knocking her foot again, trying to play footsie like a horny teenager.

"Boy, if you kick me again, we're gonna have problems," Harold says.

"What?"

"You keep kickin' me in the damn foot. My toe ain't well if you'll remember."

_Oh shit._

"Harold, if you'll remember, there's no cussing in front of Effie," Bella says, nudging him with her elbow.

I'd kill for a fucking nudge right now.

"Oh really? No cussing in front of Effie? What was that you said earlier?" Bella opens her mouth to speak, but Harold cuts her off. "And I don't mean when you called your boyfriend over there _hot_."

My dad laughs, and Bella smiles at the table before going back to picking at her plate. I feel a _nudge _against my foot and before I nudge back, I ask Harold, "Did you just kick me?"

He makes a big show of being annoyed, and Bella continues smiling down at her plate. "No I ain't kickin' you. Your girl here is probably trying to play footsie with you…"

"Harold!" Bella scolds, a pink blush rising to her cute cheeks.

"Well, it ain't like you're hidin' you like him."

"Is this really happening?"

"It is, my lovely," my mom says, and Bella smiles before her brown eyes meet mine.

How can I get her alone?

"When are you gonna marry Bella, Uncle Edward?"

Bella's fork clatters against her plate, and she chokes, not an _actual_ choke like she did when Henrietta wanted her to go home, so that's saying something - like marrying me isn't as bad as Thanksgiving at the Hendersons.

_Interesting._

Henrietta pats Bella's back, and I watch her compose herself before staring at me across the table.

"I don't know," I say, hiding my smirk by stuffing more food into my mouth, chewing and chewing before swallowing. "Bella hasn't asked me yet."

Effie giggles. "Uncle Edward! You're sposed to ask her!"

"What? Why can't she ask me?" I say, smiling at my cute niece, but she shakes her head and looks at her mom for guidance.

"Huh, mommy? Boys asks girls to be their wifes?"

"Well traditionally, yes, but I don't see why a girl can't ask a boy. That'd be kind of romantic."

_Thank you, sister._

"I'm not Monica, and you're not Chandler," Bella says. "You want me, you have to ask for me."

_Fuck, she wants to play._

"Well, I was going to wait until later, but…"

"Shut up," she says, laughing, her eyes darting to every person at the table. "He's just joking," she explains, giving me an ineffective glare, ineffective in the fact that it's not intimidating in the least but does a good job of making me _hot_. "He does this all the time. Isn't that right, honey bunches of oats?"

I smile, shove another forkful in my mouth and nod my head. "That's right," I say.

"You can be Aunt Bella," Effie says. "Oh I know! I'll be your flower girl." She claps her hands and bounces in her seat. "Can I? I want to throw the petals and wear a pretty dress."

"When Bella asks me to marry her, you can do that," I say, just to see Bella glare at me again or _blush._

_Where has she been all my fucking life? _


	15. 15 Bella Swan

**15\. Bella Swan**

Is he fucking high?

And here I thought I was the crazy one.

I think he gets off on making me uncomfortable, and I think I get off on the fact that he gets off on me being uncomfortable.

I think something's wrong with me.

The men and Effie go find a seat somewhere else in the house - a study I think - and I help the women clean up.

I mean, Thanksgiving wasn't all that bad after all.

A little mashed potatoes here, a little yams there, oh and a little green bean casserole everywhere.

Not bad, not bad at all.

"My son's crazy about you," Esme says, not realizing her words have me almost dropping her fine china on the even finer floor.

"He really is." Alice says. "He never brings girls home on holidays."

What!

"I'm his first?" I blurt, eyes wide.

They both laugh, and Henrietta says, "That's so sweet, dear."

I don't know Edward. Not really. I mean, yeah, he's a _doctor_, and he's sexy as hell, and his family is nice, and he's nice to crazy old coots like Henrietta and Harold, and he loves his niece, but I don't _know_ him. Not really.

I don't even know why he let me crash his Thanksgiving dinner.

We only just met at high noon _today_, and he's all trying to be my Chanandaler Bong.

That's just plain crazy.

Okay, maybe being his Monica wouldn't be half bad.

"I like the way he looks at you," Esme says all dreamily.

"Me too," Alice says. "It's sweet."

What!

To me, it just _hot._

"My Harold used to look at me like that all the time, now his looks are the looks of a constipated old fart."

I snort, and we all start cracking up.

_Fucking Harold._

Once the dishes are washed and the coffee is brewing for pie, I go in search of the bathroom. The Cullen's house is as beautiful as I remember, and the bathroom is right where I left it all those years ago.

I do my business and stare at myself in the mirror. Oh lookie there, I had forgotten my shirt was covered in pie. I must look like a real bum to all of Edward's sophisticated beautiful family.

I mean Edward himself is dressed all GQ looking all fine and shit.

How one can be that damn sexy I'll never know.

When I've overstayed my welcome in the loo, I pull the door open and run right smack into Edward himself.

"Hello," he says, catching me as I fall all over him, my face in his chest, my cheek all smashed into his perfect sweater. "You okay?"

I lift my head and stare up at him. "Yes. Are you stalking me?"

"Yes."

"Oh...okay."

He laughs, and I like his laugh and his smile and the way he's looking down at me right now.

"Thanksgiving was nice."

He nods, and his hands rub my arms all soft and smooth. "It was."

"The turkey was good."

"You didn't eat the turkey."

"Well, I know, but it _looked _good?"

His head is doing the descending again, and my stomach is getting fluttery, and like is he going to _kiss _me?

"Are you going to kiss me?" I blurt, breathe, _pray._

"No."

"You liar!"

He chuckles and just goes for it, just presses those pretty, pouty lips against mine, and I die.

_See Effie, Uncle Edward's not dying, Bella is!_


	16. 16 Edward Cullen

**16\. Edward Cullen**

Bella opens her mouth, and I slide my tongue along hers, pulling her against me and using a hand to tilt her head, so I can kiss the hell out of her.

She's so soft and warm.

"I'm glad you choked on that burger," I whisper, kissing the corner of her mouth, licking her bottom lip, taking a bite out of her cute chin.

"I could have died."

"I saved you."

"Are you my lobster?"

"What?"

"Nevermind," she says, grabbing the sides of my neck. "Keep kissing me."

I chuckle and wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight against me, and let _her _kiss _me._ She does it good, and when my body is telling me to take it further than is appropriate at my mother's house on Thanksgiving day, we're interrupted by none other than…

_Harold._

"Quit your neckin'..."

"Go away, Harold," Bella says.

"Girl, I need the bathroom."

"Go outside."

"I ain't gonna pee outside in the yard. I'm not no animal."

"Could have fooled me," Bella whispers, slowly releasing my neck and dragging her hands down my chest.

"Go on then, use the _bathroom_."

"I would if you'd get outta my way."

Bella makes a real show of being annoyed before she's pushing me out of the way, her hands gripping my sweater. Harold shuffles past us, and Bella's head falls forward. "Why did we invite Harold again?"

"We didn't."

"That's right. Why people think it's okay to just invite them to other people's Thanksgiving I'll never know…"

"Yeah, I know. How rude, huh?"

"Very."

She starts laughing, and I place my hand on her head, so I can feel her laughing against my chest. She's funny and gorgeous and like no one I've ever met before.

The bathroom door opens, and Harold huffs at us. "I think it's time me and Henrietta get on home. You drivin' us, boy?"

"Yeah, I'll drive you."

"I'm coming, too."

"It'll be a tight fit. We ain't ridin' in the back in the dark in this cold weather."

"Okay, Harold," Bella says. "We wouldn't want you catching a cold."

"That's right," he says.

We follow Harold down the hall, and Bella wraps her fingers around mine, making my entire body heat up...from _hand_ holding.

"I can drive the Henderson's home," my dad says when we walk into the study.

"No, it's fine. We'll go."

"You'll come back," my mom asks Bella. "Take Harold and Henrietta home and come back, okay."

"It's getting late, and I should probably check on my dad…"

"You can bring him up for some dessert. It'll be fun."

Bella smiles and nods. "I'll see if he's up for it."

Before we leave, Harold and Henrietta say their goodbyes, and Effie hugs the hell out of Harold and asks him to come back for Christmas.

"Christmas is the best," she says, looking up at the old man. "You can help me decorate gammy's tree and we'll drink hot chocolate and eat cookies. Do you like cookies?"

"I love cookies, little lady. Tell me when, and Henrietta and me, we'll be here."

"What in the world?" Bella whisper laughs, looking up at me with bright eyes.

"They're going to want an invite to our wedding, too," I say.

"Shut up," she breathes, laughs, _blushes_ and slaps my stomach.

"Come on kids, we ain't gettin' any younger," Harold calls, halfway to the door.

"Fucking Harold," Bella mumbles under her breath.

I think she loves the ornery bastard.

"Drive safe," my mom calls out.

"I think I'm going to have to sit on your lap," Bella says.

"Okay."

"Maybe Henrietta can sit on Harold's?"

She laughs at herself and holds onto my arm with the hand not holding my hand. "I think we can fit."

"I don't know, maybe _you'll _have to sit on Harold's lap."

She snorts. "Or maybe I'll drive and you can sit on his lap."

"You're funny."

"You got a heater in this thing," Harold calls.

"Do you?" Bella asks, already shivering.

"You can have my sweater," I offer.

"He doesn't have a heater, Harold!" Bella says.

"It's quite alright," Henrietta says. "We got enough body heat, we'll warm up quicker than no time."

I open the door for Bella, and she lets me go to climb up.

I can't wait to drop Harold and Henrietta off.


	17. 17 Bella Swan

**17\. Bella Swan**

By the time we get the Henderson's back to the diner, I'm sweating buckets with all the body heat. I'm plastered to Edward's side which is no hardship, but all the hot air in here is a little much.

When Harold opens the door, I gulp in that almost winter air.

_Yum._

"Dinner was lovely," Henrietta says. "I'm glad you choked and we all met, dear."

Edward chuckles, and I pat Henrietta's arm. "I'm glad I choked, too. See ya, Harold."

"You two be safe," he says, making my heart warm and cozy. "We'll be waitin' for you on Christmas. Don't want to disappoint Effie."

"We'll be here," Edward says, making me glance at him over my shoulder. He smiles when I catch his eyes.

_Shit._

The door slams and Henrietta waves until the two are at their own vehicle and hidden inside. When they drive off, I feel like I can finally breathe.

"Well…" I say, not daring to scoot from my spot. "...that was fun."

Edward starts laughing, and I turn to watch the show, my smile feeling like it's too big for my face.

"It was. Hey," he says, putting an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into his side. "I'm glad you choked, too."

"You're sweet," I say. "I'm glad you were there to save me. Hey, I have an idea. Let's go look at Christmas lights."

"It's Thanksgiving."

"So! I bet there are Christmas lights up already."

"I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas."

"Well they're not _my_ Christmas lights. Come on, I'll buy you a cocoa, and I'll even keep you warm when you get cold."

He shakes his head and pulls a jacket from behind his seat _then_ he pulls his sexy GQ sweater over his head and slides it over mine, and I'm not going to lie, I sniffed the hell out of it.

"You smell good."

"So do you."

Once his jacket is on, he opens the door and slides from the truck and holds his hand out. "Let's go look for Christmas lights," he says, air quoting the _Christmas lights_.

"Why are you air quoting? I don't get it."

"There aren't going to be any Christmas lights."

"You want to make a bet?" I ask, sniffing the collar of his sweater.

He watches me do it, and I want to be embarrassed, but I'm passed the embarrassment stage. I'm at stage five clinger.

"What will I win?"

"You won't win, but I'll humor you. What do you want?"

He grabs my hand and starts us walking down the street. "I'll think about it, you just keep your eyes open for some lights. We don't want to miss them."

"You are going to eat your words," I say, leaning into his warmth.

We walk down main street, and I buy him a hot chocolate like I promised, and I hate to admit, but we have yet to see any Christmas lights. The night is still young, though.

"I know what I want," Edward says, once we cross the street.

"It won't matter, but okay. What is it?"

"If I win, you'll be the one to propose to me."

I stop dead and look up at him. He's completely serious. "What?"

"Yeah, if I win then on Thanksgiving next year, you're going to ask me to marry you."

"You're kidding." I laugh, and he smiles at me all _not_ kidding.

"Don't worry. You'll have an entire year to plan and make it real special."

He keeps walking, dragging me along with him, and my eyes are watering from how wide I have them open in search of just _one_ house with their Christmas lights up.

When we get back to the red baboon and no lights have been seen, I'm quite shocked. "You're going to regret the day you bet me into a proposal. This time next year, you're going to be _begging_ me to leave you alone. Just you wait and see."

Edward laughs and pulls me into a hug and _kisses_ the top of my head.

"I'll wait and see."

"Just shut up and kiss me again," I say, looking up at his cute face.

He smiles and gives me adorable squinty eyes before leaning down to wrap those lips around mine like an early Christmas present.

_Guess who's celebrating Christmas this year._


	18. Epi 1 Bella Swan

**Epilogue 1 Bella Swan**

Okay, yes, he asked for it, so he's going to get it.

The diner is covered in Christmas lights, and even though Harold bitched and moaned about it, he's excited as shit that I'm popping the big question.

Edward's on his way to pick me up so that we can head up to his mom and dad's for Thanksgiving, but _first_, he's going to get his wish. I'm going to Monica his ass so hard.

"Okay, dear, we're going to go on and go, but good luck." Henrietta kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand in excitement.

"I hope he says yes," Harold says, the big ass that he is.

"Harold!"

"I'm just yankin' her chain. The boy's head over heels for her." Harold pats my head, the most affection he's willing to give me, but I know he loves me. "Don't be late. I'm already hungry and don't want to be waitin' on you two."

I roll my eyes and so does Henrietta before they head out to the Cullen's.

I pace the diner and twiddle my thumbs, rehearsing my speech in my head over and over until my phone rings scaring the absolute hell out of me.

"Where are you?" I ask as soon as the phone is to my ear.

"Where are you?"

"What!"

"I'm at my mom and dad's and you're not here."

"What!"

"Baby," he laughs. "We were supposed to meet here."

"We were _not_. I told you to pick me up at the diner. I was having my traditional burger before Thanksgiving dinner. Harold and Henrietta left already. Come and get me!"

He's ruining _everything._

"You want me to come all the way back to get you?"

"Are you kidding me! Yes!"

He chuckles in my ear, and even if his chuckles do get me all hot, I'm royally pissed off.

"I'm on my way."

I hang up on him. Okay, it's mean, but I prepared for this day for an _entire_ year, and he's just going to up and ruin it. I don't think so!

The bell over the door rings, and I call, "We're closed," without bothering to look at who it is, which isn't smart because for all I know, it's someone to come and rob my ass.

Cold hands cover my eyes from behind, and I scream my head off and start kicking and fighting to get the intruder off, but when I hear Edward's signature chuckle, I pause and whirl around.

"What the fuck, Edward? You scared me half to death."

He keeps laughing, and just damn, he looks good. He's wearing the same GQ sweater I met him in. I'm wearing the _same_ shirt minus the pie stain, and it's like we've time warped back to the first time we laid eyes on each other. Well, without me choking on beef, thank God.

"I'm sorry," he says, giving me a slow eye fuck, like my old tee and jeans are something to get exicted about. "You ready?"

Does he _not_ see the lights?

Hello, _McSmartyPants._

His ring is in my back pocket - a real sexy band if I do say so myself - and my stomach is in knots. I mean, it's not like he'd say no, right? He wouldn't bet me a proposal just to turn me down, right?

Uhhh…

"Baby," he calls, wrapping his cold hands around the side of my neck and tilting my head up. "You okay?"

Am I _okay_?

No.

I'm not okay.

Do I just get on bended knee?

What if he thinks I want to give him a quick blowie or something?

I clear my throat and look up at the love of my damn life and just go for it.

I slowly drop to my knees, my eyes on his face the entire time, and when he gives me a slow sexy smile, I start to think he really does have the wrong idea, but when he gets on his knees in front of me, my smile stretches across my face.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"What are _you_ doing?" He grins and grabs my hand, giving it a sweet kiss.

"I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing."

"Go on, baby." He kisses my hand again, my _finger_. _The _finger.

"Edward," I breathe, my eyes on his crinkly ones. I pull his ring from my back pocket and then I _drop _it, making Edward chuckle. He still has a hold of my hand while I search around the floor until I find the ring. "Fuck, I'm ruining it," I say, straightening.

Edward's staring at me all intently, and it makes my heart race. How do I keep going when he's looking at me like that?

"Uhh…"

Edward shuffles closer on his knees until he's _right_ in front of me and places my left hand on his chest and brings his other hand up, his fingers gripping a gorgeous fucking ring.

"Oh my _God_…"

"Bella…" he smiles, and I slap a hand over my mouth, feeling my eyes start to water. "...I love you…"

"You stole my line," I say, through a raspy throat.

"You love Bella, too?"

I crack up laughing, and Edward laughs with me.

"What's the hold up?" Harold yells, and knocks on the glass window.

_Fucking, fucking Harold!_


	19. Epi 2 Edward Cullen

**Epilogue 2 - Edward Cullen**

Our entire family is behind the glass of Harold and Henrietta's diner, and I know I told Bella she'd be the one to propose to me, but I couldn't let her do this alone.

I kiss her lips, and when she's kind of composed, I start again.

"I didn't write a speech…"

"I did!" She interrupts me. "I had a plan, remember? I lost the bet. I'm supposed to be proposing to you!"

I shake my head and kiss her lips again. "Do you want me to shut up?"

"No! There's a reason why girls don't do this!" She sniffles and wipes her nose with her free hand.

_Fuck, I love her._

"Uncle Edward," Effie yells. "You're taking forever!"

Bella laughs and sniffles, and I get on with it.

"You're the only person I want to spend my life with," I say, swallowing roughly. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world, and I'm so fucking thankful it was me who saved you from choking on that burger last Thanksgiving." Bella snorts a laugh. "Baby, I want you to be my wife. Will you?"

Okay, that was a shit proposal, but Bella's crying and nodding her head, so it must have been alright.

She falls into my chest and continues to nod her head, and I grab her hand and slide the ring on her finger before lifting her head and kissing her makeup smeared face.

"I love you," she says. "I _love_ Thanksgiving!"

Everyone's cheering outside, and I stand and bring Bella with me. She peeks around my body and waves and our family before yelling, "We're getting married!"

"No shit," Harold yells back.

"Harold!" _Everyone_ yells, except Effie who I can hear giggling her little ass off.

"What? I'm hungry."

"You're _always_ hungry, Uncle Harold," Effie says through her giggles. "Look, I bringed you a snack." I look over my shoulder - curious as hell - to see Effie pulling a sandwich out of her backpack and handing it over.

"Well, all be damned," Harold says. "You're a keeper."

"Come on, sweeties," my mom calls. "It's time for Thanksgiving dinner."

"After dinner..." Bella says, grabbing my hand and sliding a thick band on my finger. "...we're going to look at Christmas lights."

"What? There won't be any." I kiss her lips, and she slips her tongue into my mouth, making me want to just throw her on the floor right here and have proposal sex.

"They're _kissing_, mommy!"

Bella laughs into my mouth. "I bet there will be."

"What do you want to lose this time?"

"I don't think I _lost_ really. I _won _you."

"You did."

"Come on," she says. "Bet me."

"What do I win this time?"

"I get to pick, but I'm not telling you until you win...or _lose_."

"Okay, you're on."

"Okay." She grins all cute and grabs my hand. "Come on, Harold's hungry."

"Damn straight," he yells, munching on his sandwich.

"It's funny," Bella says quietly. "I never thought I'd love his obnoxious ass."

"I knew you would."

"What!"

I shrug and smile. "When you know, you know."

_And I'm fucking glad I knew._


End file.
